The Line Between Loss & Wonders
by Ayra Sirait
Akan diterbitkan 2023
Disunting oleh Anh Thu Nguyen
Short story collection, 150 halaman
dalam Bahasa Inggris
ISBN belum tersedia
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Where there is grief, there is love; it is a turning wheel, an endless cycle running double eights. In these four stories, Ayra Sirait attunes herself to the temporalities and spatial habitance of simple [in]corporeal bodies. Death occurs in the background that no one really pays attention to, blurred to the sensation of the usual protagonist being: against a clinical white, a boy about to lose his sister paces; in an empty parking lot, an angry slam disrupts the quiet and a girl decides a lie would change her fate; an intern befriends a friend with a temporary life; and two best friends are separated in death. In the pace of the everyday, there is a fine, infinite line between loss and wonders.
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01. 122 Days And A Few Hours In Between
“Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Lim. See you soon.” Elijah heard the doctor say from behind the door.
He straightened himself in the chair, ignoring the sympathetic glances he received from nurses he gradually got used to receiving. He plugged his earphones in and closed his eyes, pretending to not hear his parents walking out of the doctor’s office and sitting on the chairs next to him.
What was it this time? Did Reyna sneak out of her room again? But nurses usually take care of that. Maybe she was getting better? Elijah dared hope, but he couldn’t even fool himself. He knew that his sister would never get better. It was harsh, but it was the truth.
He hated the hospital. The smell of antiseptic had made him sick the first few times he went with Reyna on her weekly check-ups, but since she started practically living in the hospital, he had learned to get used to it. He took a deep breath, inhaling the smell he used to despise so much as he tried to ignore his parents’ worried stares on him.
“You tell him, I told him last week,” his mother whispered to his father.
“No way, I told him twice the last time,” his father whispered back.
Elijah couldn’t care less of what they were about to tell him; he knew that it wouldn’t be good news, so why bother?
“It’s okay, guys,” Elijah muttered to his parents. “I’m going to Reyna now.”
He gave them a small wave as he heaved his bag on his shoulder and dragged his feet towards the elevator.
He punched the ‘6’ button and scrolled through his phone.
Within minutes, he reached Reyna’s room. He hesitated in front of her door. He took a deep breath and knocked. Hearing a soft “Come in” from the other side, he turned the doorknob and entered.
He would never get sick of seeing Reyna, especially in her happy state. He knew that it was temporary, so he wanted to cherish it while he still could. And as always, that day he was greeted with an anticipating and an ever-so-energetic Reyna. He didn’t understand how she could stay so bright all the time, when she was the one whose immune system was attacking her.
He couldn’t help but return her smile as he sat down next to her bed. The swiss rolls he had bought from the hospital lobby appeared from his bag, and he gently placed them onto Reyna’s hands. Her eyes sparkled as she mumbled a phrase of gratitude, and wolfed down the pastry.